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The Little Prince: Sixtieth-Anniversary Gift Edition

The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH REVIEW*(* entertainment purposes only) ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SERIES: A deathmatch that never was:Le Petit Prince v. 1984Setting: A long dark hallway within The Ministry of Love. The Little Prince (LP) is being escorted by two armed guards towards Room 101. O'Brien (OB) walks a few feet in front of them. Cries of anguish are heard through other doors along the hall, as the entourage passes.OB: (sternly, with relish) Since you've been so obstinate in your refusal to conform to life in INGSOC and the principles of Oligarchical Collectivism, I'm afraid we have no choice but to bring you to Room 101.LP: (silent, with a pleasant smile on his face)(they arrive at the door) OB: (having expected screams and pleas for mercy) Hmmm... I'm guessing that you don't know about Room 101. It is where the State exploits your worst fear. It is the place where you stand naked before that which terrifies you the most. (somewhat theatrically) After extensive analysis of your personality profile, we have determined that in your case, it is... (opens the door)[inside, Room 101 has been transformed into a lush garden. The torture chair remains at the center of the room, but the rest of the room is unrecognizable, having been filled with small potted trees and other plants.](confused, somewhat disappointed look on his face)...trees?Armed Guard #1: (produces a clipboard) Yes, Sir. A background check and analysis by a team of psychologists has determined that the Little Prince's greatest fear is that the boabab trees will take root on his asteroid home planet, and destroy it. OB: (looks over the clipboard sceptically, reluctant to criticize the conclusions)Oh... okay... well, (motioning for LP and the guards to enter) let's get on with it.(LP enters and sits in the chair)(the guards exit, taking up positions outside the door)OB: Now we are to continue our conversations, Little Prince, but you must understand: if you defy me, or the will of the Party, you will have to face the unleashed terror of... (mumbling a bit, in embarrassment) these trees.LP: I am ready, Sir. (admires the trees) They really are lovely, this time of year.OB: (annoyed) Yes, well.. never mind that. I must make you understand that Love is Hate, and Ignorance is Strength.LP: I loved a rose once... but then discovered that roses aren't unique. (a tear rolls down his cheek) I felt terrible inside.OB: (smiling) Now we're getting somewhere! Didn't you hate that rose, when you learned it wasn't unique? Didn't you hate that rose you loved?LP: (brushes away the tear) No, Sir. I wouldn't say so. The fox explained to me that my rose was unique after all, being the only rose that I loved.OB: (disappointed) Okay... let's forget about that for now.(holds up four fingers)How many fingers am I holding up?LP: Four, Sir.OB: And if the Party says there are five, then how many?LP: Four, Sir.OB: (looks around at the trees, not sure what's supposed to happen at this point. The Little Prince is smiling in his chair, so O'Brien breaks off a branch of a nearby tree and shoves it in the LP's face. The LP brushes it aways and continues smiling.)No! If the party says there are five fingers, then these (holding up four fingers) are really five fingers!LP: (a look of recognition passes across his face) I think I understand!(LP pulls out a drawing pad and pencil and draws this image)(he offers the pad to O'Brien to examine)What do you see here?OB: A hat.LP: But suppose the Party says it is a picture of an elephant and a snake?OB: (examines the picture more closely) An elephant and a snake?! This?! (looks disdainfully at the Little Prince and shakes his head... then O'Brien remembers himself and looks up at the surveillence camera on the wall)No! I-(Several armed guards burst in and wrestle O'Brien to the ground. He is bound in shackles and dragged out of the room, resisting and yelling. His screams fade down the hallway as he is dragged away to the consequences he must face. The Little Prince, admiring the trees around him, picks the notepad off the floor and sits back in the chair, entertaining himself with more drawings.)MATCH POINT: The Little Prince