276 Followers
48 Following
Hoss

Monkeypanic

Revolutionary Characters: What Made the Founders Different

Revolutionary Characters: What Made the Founders Different - Gordon S. Wood Originally, I was going to do this review like little biopic blurbs and stats about the each Founder. Kind of like baseball cards used to be. Nowadays, I guess it would be more like:FOUNDING FATHERS VERSION(collect them all!!!!)GEORGE WASHINGTONSuperpowers: -Integrity: turned down a kingship-Star Power: the only man both Federalists and Republicans wanted as PresidentVulnerabilities:-Less worldly than most: never traveled outside North America.Little-known fact:-The only President to ever win every electoral vote in a Presidential electionSurprising Fact:A slave-owning Virginian, he once said that if the nation were divided over slavery, he would move to the NorthBENJAMIN FRANKLINSuperpowers:-Smarts: groundbreaking experiments on electricity-Money-skillz!: a self-made businessman, his fortune today would be measured in the tens of millions $$$ Vulnerabilities:-Age: 70 years old at the time of the Revolution -Sex fiend (or is this a superpower?)Little-known fact:His son, William, was the British governor of New Jersey in 1776, and a staunch British loyalist. Ben eventually disowned him over thisSurprise fact:He was least-appreciated of the Founders, in his day. While Washington had an overabundance of orators at his funeral, Franklin had just one- and a reluctant one at that. THOMAS JEFFERSONUuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhh……..FUCK THIS, I’M DONESorry, I got bored with the stupid gimmicky format of my review, and I'm just DONE with this book. It covers eight of the largest figures in American history in, like, three hundred pages. Do the math. That’s about forty pages or less to each man. Now consider how many TONS of books and other scholarly documents have been written about each one. What did I think I was going to get out of this? Oh sure, I picked out a few trivialities I didn’t know before, but it was pretty low-yield. Maybe I’m just being irritable, but I find the subtitle to be a tease: “What Made the Founders Different”. I don't think the book delivered any sense of that, nor do I think a three hundred page book about eight complex men really could. Sorry if it sounds pretentious- I've got no business looking down on anybody, especially when they're just trying to read about something that interests them... but there's just something about this book.... there's something about it that makes me feel like it was intended for somebody who wants to gather a few conversation points before a cocktail party or some goddamn thing like that. Am I an asshole for saying that? Probably. Reading this, I just kept thinking to myself "Would anybody who was genuinely interested in these men be happy with this book?" And I kept feeling like "No. No they wouldn't." I'm giving this two stars instead of one, and I'm not putting it on my "shit" shelf, just because I'm sure all the stuff in this book is true, and I like the subject matter in general. I just think there's got to be something better out there.