276 Followers
48 Following
Hoss

Monkeypanic

1984 (Signet Classic)

1984 - George Orwell, Erich Fromm CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH REVIEW*(* entertainment purposes only) For my real 1984 review: (click here)1984 v. LolitaSetting: a dingy bar, empty, except for a bored-looking prole bartender, and a dejected Humbert Humbert (HH), who sits alone, shotglass in his hand, with a half-consumed bottle of INGSOC Vodka on the cheep wooden table in front of him. Humbert is staring into space, as the telescreen blares in the background, recounting the latest casualties from the frontlines. Eurasian troops in Northern Africa have been defeated...Winston Smith (WS) walks in, haggard and sickly. He spots Humbert and sits down at the table. He speaks in monotone, not making eye contact...WS: I betrayed you.HH: (also in a slow monotone, without eye contact)I betrayed you too.WS: I told them about you and Dolly.HH: I told them about you and Julia.WS: They put my face in a cage with rats, until I begged them to torture Julia.HH: They threw me in a room with thirty-year-old women until I begged them to torture Dolly.WS: Now Julia hates me, and I'm an enemy of the State. They'll toy with me for a few months, maybe years, and then I'll be uncerimoniously disappeared and executed. HH: Dolly married a mechanic, and is pregnant with his child. I'm a sex offender who can't go within 500 feet of a school or playground. I'm scorned by one and all. WS: Aren't you a murderer too? Why aren't you in prison?HH: The State doesn't have a problem with murder. Messing with tomorrow's soldiers and party members, though... that's trouble. (Smith nods in silence)(pause)HH: They're reassigning me. I'll be heading off for a labor camp on Thursday.WS: They've reassigned me as well. Now I'm a counselor at a summer camp for girls.(HH looks up, startled) Suddenly, the telescreen is interrupted, and a triumphant, vaguely Asian-sounding music starts to blare. An Asian man in a heavily-decorated military uniform appears on the screen. Behind him is the INGSOC flag, which he promptly rips from the wall, and replaces with a different, unfamiliar flag. He speaks with authority, but in a way that seems warm and engaging:"People of INGSOC! I am Supreme Commander Chang of the East Asian armed forces. I am speaking to you from the newly-erected East Asian command center in London. Despite what your propaganda has been telling you, INGSOC has just suffered the last and most devestating in a series of battles, and the last of your troops have been defeated. INGSOC is no more; you are now citizens of the Free Republic of East Asia. Do not be alarmed by this- we have an open and democratic system, we respect individual liberties, inalienable human rights, and commodity-backed money. From this day forward, you are a free people. I welcome you warmly into a new age..."Outside, people begin cheering and singing, ripping down posters of Big Brother, and dismantling surveillance cameras.Winston stands, looking first outside, and then at the warmly smiling Supreme Commander Chang on the telescreen. Tears of joy begin to flow freely down his (Winston's) face...WS: I'm free... I'm going to live... I have to find Julia! WE'RE GOING TO BE FREE!HH: (somewhat shocked, but with a faint smile of realization on his face)I'm not going to the labor camp...WS: (turning, now making eye contact with Humbert for the first time, speaking in a stern, deadly-serious tone, and pointing aggressively in his face)Yeah, but you're still a sex offender. Stay away from my family.Bartender: (shocked, looking at Humbert) You're a SEX OFFENDER!?!! Get the hell outta my bar!MATCH POINT: 1984