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The Sound and the Fury: The Corrected Text

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH REVIEW*(* entertainment purposes only) For my real review if The Sound and the Fury: (click here)The Grapes of Wrath v. The Sound and the FurySetting -a long and desolate highway in the California desert.The Joad family is milling about next to their very old and very worn-out truck, which is loaded with their belongings. Tom Joad and Connie have the hood up, and are examining the engine, as steam is pours from the radiator. A red 1930's convertable Buick pulls up alongside, driven by Dilsey Gibson. Caddie Compson sits up front on the passenger side. Quentin Compson III, Jason Comson IV and Benjy sit in the back.Dilsey: (friendly, to the Joads) Well hello they-ah! Y'all gotcha some motah' trouble? Mabbee we can help ya...Jason: (to Dilsey, irritated, ignoring the Joads) Y'all jus' drive on now, Dilsey. (flicking his hand, motioning toward the Joads) This heah' sitchuation don' concern us none. Iignoring Jason, Dilsey parks the car and turns off the engine. Caddie gets out and extends her hand to Ma Joad.Caddie: Way'ah y'all headed?Ma Joad: California.Caddie: Y'all looking fo' fahm wook? Escapin' the Oklahoma dust bowl?Ma Joad: Naw... we're going to the GoodReads headquarters. We expect we'll be winning Manny's Celebrity Deathmatch Reviews, an' there'll probably be an awards cerimony of some kind.(Caddie and Jason share a knowning look. Caddie looks down and puts her hand to her mouth, to cover a little smile)Caddie: Well, that's waya we was goin' too... but you don' expect you'll be winnin' with us heah' Compsons in the runnin', do ya?Ma Joad: (mildly indignant) But of course! Ours is the poignent tale of heartbreak and struggle. The bank foreclosed...Caddie: (interrupting) The bank?! Is that all ya got? The bank?!?!! Who's gonna cah' about that?... (rhetorically and disdainfully) Bird Brian?! (Jason snorts dismissively at the name)Y'all need some DRAMA! (struts very provocatively over to Uncle John Joad, and says in a still-quite-audible whisper) ...some sex!Benji: DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!(Quentin and Jason get out of the car)Pa Joad: (forceful) We don't need them tricks! We got inspiration... (with a broad wave of his hand) a spirit of survival! The little guy against the big guys!Quentin: (relaxed and businesslike, speaking to Pa Joad) I appreciate what yer sayin' heah' Joad, but y'all are outclassed izzall. See heah: (enumerating on his hand) we got ourselves some sex, some insanity, (motioning to Benjy) some castration...Benjy: DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!Quentin: (nods at Benjy) ... lessee heah'...what else? SUICIDE! We got thievery...Jason: (responding) An' it'll be murdah', if I get mah hands on huh!Quentin: (speaking with a sly tone) ...we even got ahselves some (softly, slowly, with a lurid smile at Caddie) EEENNNNN-CEST!Caddie: (smiles seductively at Quentin and giggles softly) (turns to Ma Joad) Do ya'll know how much eeencest is worth on GoodReads? I's like silver an' gold, catnip an' chock-lit... all rolled up inta' one! Thah's nothin' beats it!(Ma Joad shakes her head, disgusted)Tom Joad: (coming down from up on the truck) I've had about all I'm going to take of this talk! This family's been though enough, without you harassing them! (pointing at Quentin) You people think you're so great? I'll have you know we were written by John Steinbeck! A Nobel Prize winner!(the Compsons all laugh)Benjy: John Steinbeck smells like trees!Quentin: Well we was writtin' bah William Faulknah', an' he's got a No-bel Prahz of 'is own! Caddie: an' ah' promise yah: yo-ah' Stein-beck never wrote no sentences like ow-ah' Faulknah'! Why, that Mista' Faulknah' could write a sentence five mals long, and he wouldn' even be gettin' to the point a' the sentence yet! Idn' that right, Dilsey?(Jason has snuck around to the other side of the truck, and is letting the air out of the Joads' tires)Dilsey: Sho' nuff, Miss Caddie. He could start writin' that sentence in mornin' and bah midday, he steel wouldn' be half done!Pa Joad: That might impress you, but it doesn't impress us. We've got social commentary. You people are too flashy. Too over-the-top. We've got understated substance. Caddie: Y'all can keep yah substance! That's no match for-Jason: (leaping down from the top of the truck onto Pa Joad) CANNIBALISM!!!!!(Jason reaches into Pa Joad's chest, pulls out his still-beating heart, and starts to eat it, his face smeared with blood) Benjy: DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!Dilsey: (softly, to herself) Law'd, have mercy...MATCH POINT: The Sound and the Fury