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The Egg Said Nothing (New Bizarro Author)

The Egg Said Nothing - Caris O'Malley If the one unforgivable sin in fiction is being predictable, I hereby declare this book to be free of sin! It was delightfully unpredictable at nearly every step. When the first page started off with the main character having laid an egg, I imagined this was going to be a variation on Metamorphosis, which I actually haven’t read, but I gather is about a guy turning into a bug, right? Well, it wasn’t that. Without going into spoilers, the book turned out to be kind of like Timecop, if Timecop had been cool. More specifically if Timecop had somehow been written by whoever wrote Army of Darkness, or maybe Night of the Living Dead. Seriously, I lost track of how many shovel murders occur in this book. In this case, that isn’t a bad thing. It should be a point of pride to have readers lose track of how many times the narrator is killed with a shovel by time-traveling versions of himself!So The Egg Said Nothing delivers the goods in the weirdness category. But that isn’t even the best part of it. I must admit that I found the character of Manny to be so oddly interesting, I would have been perfectly content to read a story about him in which nothing at all supernatural occurred. This is a guy who just never seems to be quite as appropriately freaked out as he should be ...by anything (for example, about the fact that he JUST LAID A FUCKING EGG!) He narrowly misses being accosted by a mugger, but instead of running like hell to make a safe getaway, he takes the time to notice that said mugger has a roll of quarters on him. Being both paranoid and also possessing a roll of quarters back at his apartment, Manny figures the mugger must have just stolen the roll from his place (?!) and demands “Where’d you get those quarters?”… “You’re gonna steal from me, you son of a bitch?” For some reason, that really entertained me. There’s just something so very Walter Sobchak about that. On one hand, he’s kind of a loser, living like a hermit in an apartment his mother pays rent on, and scraping together money for his electricity bill by collecting coins from public fountains. On the other hand, he’s the unbalanced genius who (in one version of the future) will figure out the key to manipulating time and space with his mind. Yet again: on one hand, he’s smart enough to outsmart his own future self, multiple times; but on the other hand, he’s also the same guy who’s stupid enough to be tricked by time-traveling earlier versions of himself! That’s the kind of book this is. The events occurring all around Manny are so unreal, he barely has the language to describe them, and yet somehow he seems to be able to process it all, and even devise an intelligent response which just might allow him (or at least one version of him) to win the day, save his life, bring his girlfriend back from the dead (sort of), and put history back on track! Now that I think about it… forget the earlier stuff I said about Timecop and Army of Darkness… this is more like Big Lebowski meets Back to the Future. I think Manny would say don’t forget what I told you earlier.. I’ll just go back in time and kill the earlier version of myself that was writing that part!In short, this was a very fun read which you can completely consume in one sitting. (83 pages, the perfect length for a short flight!) I was between giving it four stars and five. Four felt more honest, because when I originally put five, I wasn’t sure if it was for the book alone, or because I like the author (you can read a lot of his reviews here on GoodReads). Rounding down felt more honest, but 4.5 stars would be most accurate, if that were a choice.